My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a total of 8 years. We met through mutual friends when I was still in school and he had recently moved to my town for college. We were friends for 2 years before we started dating.
The reason for this was because I was too afraid to make a move, and he was in love with one of our mutual friends. After she got into a relationship, he developed feelings for me, and we’ve been together ever since.
Recently, it was his birthday, and he expressed his desire to have a surprise birthday party as he had never experienced one before. I spent the entire week before his birthday planning and organizing the party, including inviting people, making reservations, and buying a cake.
I even asked his best friend to keep him occupied for most of the day so I could set up and gather everyone for the surprise. The party turned out to be a success, and he seemed happy throughout the event.
However, as I was looking for him later on to sing “Happy Birthday” and cut the cake, I overheard him talking to his friend. He mentioned that he should have pursued our mutual friend romantically and that he regretted not being the one engaged to her.
He expressed dissatisfaction with our relationship, saying he felt disgusted when he had to show affection towards me. He believed our mutual friend was more attractive than me and wished she had organized his first surprise party. He even mentioned feeling trapped in our relationship and feared being forced to marry me.
I returned to the party and informed everyone that I couldn’t locate him, and we would have to wait for his return. When he came back, he greeted me with a hug, a kiss on the head, and declared his love for me.
Not wanting to ruin the party, I went along with it.
He is unaware that I am aware of his true feelings, and I have been pretending everything is fine. I genuinely don’t want to break up with him, but I’m desperate to make him fall in love with me. I’m unsure of what caused his unhappiness, and I would like to know how I can make him develop genuine feelings for me. Alternatively, should I give up on our relationship? I’m scared to start dating again, especially considering he’s my first boyfriend.
