When I turned 13, my world was turned upside down when my mom revealed that my dad wasn’t my biological father. It was later revealed that my parents had broken up, and my mom became pregnant with me by my biological father.
However, they eventually reconciled, and an agreement was made for my dad to adopt me, with the condition that my biological father would remain absent from my life, and I would be kept in the dark about the truth. My biological father respected my mom’s wishes, and the matter was seemingly settled. My mom, against my dad’s wishes, decided to tell me because she believed I deserved to know.
Learning this truth on my birthday was devastating, but I chose to keep my feelings to myself and never discussed it with my dad. It became a silent secret, untouched and unspoken for many years. I knew deep down that my dad loved me, and we had a strong relationship. It brought me some solace to know that he chose to be my father.
In addition to my dad, I had four older sisters with whom I shared a close bond. However, when I was 17, my younger sister started making hurtful remarks, claiming that I wasn’t a true part of our family due to my parentage.
It turned out that my older sisters had revealed the truth to her without informing my parents, and she used it as a weapon to hurt me. As if that wasn’t enough, when I was 19, my dad passed away from cancer, which triggered a bitter family dispute over inheritance, with my older sisters once again using my parentage against me.
Now, more than 10 years later, things have settled down, and I thought I had moved on from the pain. But suddenly, my mom and younger sister have brought up the topic again, which has led me to learn more about the situation.
I discovered that my biological father had wanted to be a part of my life from the beginning but chose to respect my dad’s wishes. He has kept in touch with my mom over the years, inquiring about me (information that I was never made aware of until now). Recently, my mom asked if I wanted to meet him, as he strongly desires to meet me.
I felt overwhelmed and emotionally shut down because I don’t know how to process this sudden revelation. My mom is planning to visit me soon and intends to introduce me to my biological father, giving me the choice to join them. However, I’m at a loss as to what I should do.
Even the mere thought of it brings me great distress. The pain associated with this situation is still raw and deeply hurtful.
A part of me is curious and open to the idea of meeting my biological father, but another part of me yearns to shut this chapter of my life forever. I’m feeling lost and uncertain about the right course of action. Any guidance or advice would be immensely appreciated as I navigate this complex and emotionally challenging situation.
